SCARY ON THE INSIDE
THE CONFESSIONS OF MY RUIN


Best described as survivors of a ruthless industry, My Ruin are now doing it all on their own. Experience has instilled an even deeper passion within the band, and it fuels their live shows to an even greater degree than before. It’s been a long time coming, but Highwire Daze finally sat down and spoke with Tairrie B. and company about their band and what it’s like to be scary on the inside.

Introduce yourself, tell me what you do in My Ruin, and what your all time favorite Kiss song is.

Mick Murphy: I’m Mick Murphy, I play guitar, and my favorite Kiss song right now at the moment is I Stole Your Love.

Miss B: I’m Miss B, I’m the throat of the band, and my favorite Kiss song is the one that we sang - Is That You - and that’s a joke.
Yael: My name is Yael and I play drums for My Ruin and my favorite Kiss song is 100,000 Years…

Meghan: Aw man, that’s what I was going to say! I’m Meghan, and I guess cuz she stole my song, it’s God Of Thunder.

Miss B: But we all want to make one disclaimer. Cuz I gotta tell you something that has tortured me throughout my life. My last name is Beth and I was a huge Kiss fan. And all throughout junior high and high school, people were like, “Beth I hear ya calling…” And I hate that song - that was my least favorite Kiss song.

Mick: Yeah, well I always had to hear “Oh Mickey, your so fine…”
(Editor’s Note: Olde Skool Toni Basil song)

So after Manhole…

Miss B: Wait, before we get going, I have a question for you. When did Ken Morton become completely Black Metal on me? That’s what I want to know.

About a couple years ago.

Miss B: I have seen this magazine and I was like, “Should I call him or will he just think we are pussies now?” Like you are so full on Black Metal.

You're way behind. We’re all going emo now. So how did My Ruin come together?

Miss B: Let me tell you this story in brief. Manhole got sued for the name by a band in Texas called Manhole, so we were forced to change it to Tura Satana on our second record. We went out, did another record, fired Scott, got a guy to replace him named Brian Herra. We toured with him and then it just slowly combusted. It was kind of a nightmare - the label was a nightmare. The band kind of lived what it was in real life - it was a very violent band. I said I was done and I left. I got offered a deal with Snapper Music in the U.K. They said do a solo record and I could call it Tairrie B. - except it would sound like the rap thing again. So I called it My Ruin cuz everybody said you’ll ruin yourself if you leave Tura Satana. I did that and I basically worked with a bunch of people in England and over here and I put a touring band together. I met Meghan who was part of the touring band - she played bass with us. And then we came back and I found out that Spitfire had licensed our record in the States which I was completely disgusted about! It was the worst fucking label ever! Worse than Noise! So we have a song called Spitfire that we do proudly now. And I got to do another record for the U.K. and I met Mick and wanted to still work with Meghan. When Mick came into the picture, we actually became boyfriend and girlfriend, which was a strange thing on top of it all. We all wrote the record. Then we auditioned drummers and out of all the guys that came in, Yael came in. She came in and blew us away and we went on a U.K. tour and started making music together. Then Spitfire basically tried to kill our career in the States with both records and now we’re finally gone from that label and getting ready to do a new record ourselves.

And now you're just doing everything on your own.

Miss B: It’s a very indie feeling. It’s a very do it yourself punk rock aesthetic that we have from our merch. You could see it in everything we do. This band doesn’t want to be on a major and no major is going to come to us. Dreamworks saw us the last time we played and said that we were death metal. And then Metal Blade said that we weren’t death metal enough. It was hysterical. We’re like okay…

Mick: We just play hard rock that we want to play. We're not trying to fit into whatever genre you want to put us in. It’s just super heavy rock.

Miss B: We don’t want to be metal or any of that. And it’s not like the rap rock thing where Manhole was kind of that vibe. It’s completely different. I don’t think there’s a genre where we totally fit. It’s got a little stoner vibe…

Mick: Some classic punk and some classic heavy metal and some doomy, stoner kind of stuff. And hardcore - it’s kind of like a mixture of stuff.

Why do you think My Ruin is so big in Europe and not over here in the States?

Miss B: We didn’t get a push. We got a big push over there and we toured over there our own headline tours. Manhole and Tura Satana sort of set up My Ruin - I’ve done so much with those bands in festivals and so much touring. When I brought out My Ruin, I was really glad I didn’t have to print Tairrie B of Manhole on every single fucking thing. People knew and there was an underground buzz. Mick: When we toured the US, we found out that we do have more of a following than we thought we had. Kids in every town were familiar with the band, and by the time they left, a lot more kids were familiar with the band. I think the American thing is very possible if we get a chance to expose ourselves. (Everyone starts laughing) Miss B: The one thing that I love is that nobody can really compare our band. With My Ruin, we have a unique sound.

How close is your new record to being completed?

Miss B: We’re about to go start it actually. We’ve tracked a few things, but we’re going to go finish it and then get it out there. We’ve had a couple people talk to us recently about putting it out. We just want an indie deal - something cool where we can tour and survive. We don’t want to take a big huge money offer from a label where you have to change everything you are and then owe them a million dollars…

Mick: …and then wait two years for your record to come out - and then nobody still gives a shit about your band. I would rather go indie and do it all ourselves. But we’re super excited about getting a new record out on My Ruin. When you say the My Ruin sound, it hasn’t been completely represented at this point. The first album was a solo record by Tairrie with a lot of different people. It’s a great record, but it’s very different than the Prayer record that we made - and we weren’t even a live band yet. We wrote all the music and recorded it before we ever even played a show. Now we’ve played many shows, we’ve written a whole bunch of new songs..

Where do you get some of the lyrical ideas for the new songs?

Miss B: I think in the past, I’ve always been fascinated by religious imagery, but on this record, it’s kind of what’s been happening over the last two years of my life and the life of the band. It’s really personal on a whole different level. There’s this one song we’re debuting tonight called Made To Measure. It’s my favorite My Ruin song right now - it’s like The Donnas meet Deep Purple. It’s about how I’ve been depicted by the media - how they build you up to knock you down. There’s certain magazines who have really taken a liking to me over the years and have done a lot for me and my band, but turn around at the same time and have said, “Fucking lose weight! Why doesn’t she lose weight!” And I’m like, “Fuck that!” I know that girls in our audience are not anorexic stick figures - there’s not many models coming to see My Ruin. And that’s one of the reasons they really relate to our band is that we’re one of them. This song is saying, “I’ve got lips like this and hips like this, I was born like this. If you don’t fucking like it, then fuck off! I’m not made to measure. One size does not fit all. We’re going to be different.” And it’s okay to be different! For me, I am so anti-MTV, but I would love to do a video for MTV singing a song like that. And it’s also men too. And I’m sorry, not everybody is picture perfect. The new album is called The Whore Of Beauty and basically the whole idea is about the beauty myth. We talk about a lot of different issues on the record, but the songs that mean the most to me are dealing with that personal type thing. We showcased to a major record label and the guy was like, “Your video is great. You are so photogenic. But let me ask you a question - do you have a weight problem there?” And he said, “Rock stars have to be thin.” So I went and wrote a song called Weightless and I quoted him all through the song. It’s just pathetic to me! I think that we’re here for people to look at and go, “It’s okay.” You can get up here and do what I do and you don’t have to look like this to do it.

Yael: And it’s not just rock magazines. What Tairrie covers is the whole gamut of basically the world. We’ve gone to magazine stands and there’s nothing left to the imagination. If you look from a distance and look at everything, you’re just waiting for something to pop out and go “Hello! I’m different!”

Miss B: There are people like Marilyn Manson who are brilliant. He’s obviously got incredible ideas as far as lyrics and stage and persona. I’m the first to say that, but there’s nothing shocking about him anymore. To me, it’s not shocking to see someone slicing themselves and bleeding all over the place. That’s not scary to me. Scary is something on the inside - it’s not really an outer shock. It’s more of what you say and do and what comes out of you naturally and not contrived. There are so many people today with all this clown make-up on and saying we’re gonna be shocking - and fuck off - you’re so not scary! Lamb Of God is scary, but you’re not scary! P.J. Harvey is scary, Nick Cave is scary. It’s psychological scary. It’s the perfect example of My Ruin. We don’t look scary, but I think everybody in this band is scary. It’s a different deal and a different kind of a scary thing.

Mick: But it’s truly scary, and therefore it does not have as much mass appeal.

Miss B: Rock is just so filled with fake and bullshit.

Yael: The whole industry is based on a lot of bullshit. It’s not about talent anymore. It’s not about how you can sell out shows and put out a record on your own. I’d like to stay underground for as long as we can and not worry about all the shit you have to put up with.

Miss B: I’ll tell you who I would compare us to and you’re gonna think it’s completely crazy. NWA and I’ll tell you why. We’re not a rap band, but when NWA came out, they were doing it all themselves out of the trunk of their fucking car. They were from the street, but what they were singing about was what's going on in their lives and what was around them. And people related to them because they could relate to that and that’s what they were living. We’re singing about what people can relate to. To me, I always looked to NWA and thought they were the scariest mutha fuckers ever. And that was scary to me. It’s not scary seeing some Insane Clown Posse. It’s not scary. I mean Mortiis, please - I mean whatever that is - well actually that is pretty scary!

Mick: It’s scary that the guy makes records!

Do you have any messages for people who haven’t checked out your music yet?

Meghan: Check it out!

Miss B: We have a message and that message is… Meghan…

Meghan: Check it out!

Miss B: I think everyone needs to check Meghan out. And check out our website at myruin.com!

Mick: Being the guy in the band, it’s my job to get to the point. And the point is…

The point is … check it out!

All photos taken by Kenneth Morton from the My Ruin show at The Whisky in Hollywood November 2002!

MY RUIN LINKS

MY RUIN: Their way rockin' official Home Page!
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